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My life
Me Dec 09
pickles_mom
What a year last year was. So glad its over. I am looking forward to embracing new things and better ppl in my life. My family(outside my husband and kids) is a total loss as far as Im concerned. No matter what I say or do. They are right and I am wrong. But they can do and say the same things and its ok. They are in the state of denial. Constantly trying to one-up each other, steal, lie and at each others throats. They play one against the other. They use each other to get what they want and dont even ealize they are doing it. They are twisted, sick, demented and need help(professional). Here comes the denial part. I am the cause of their problems. Not them and their behavior~ just little ole me. Now I am not totally guilt free. I have allowed their behavior and  their actions to control me into doing their bidding mostly for evil purposes beacuse I would feel guilty if I didnt help them or side with them. What I mean by evil  is what I said before abou playingt one against the other. I was getting very sick because of living this constant merry-go-around of crap they called a life. I was unhappy, angry and miserable most of the time. It was taking a toll on my emotional and physical health. I got a wake-up call and decided to stop living this way. Thats when the real problems with them started. They cant handle that I dont want to live this way anymore and help them in their evil plots to get revenge, be spiteful and steal from each other. They refuse to accept this and the fact that their actions harbor on the edge of mental instability along with their substance abuses. Nothing at this point that I say will help them see this.I am not trying to control them as they did me. Just make them understand, they are sick in so many ways. They need help to get over their anger and addictions just as I did, And this constant round and round of anger and revenge is not only killing them slowly but has killed all trust I ever had in them as a friend and family member. My one sister has used the internet social website My Space has a way to *anonymously* tag me. She doesnt mention my name just an initial. She made up a quiz entitled is my sister a bitch. When I casually mentioned this in a blog w/o using names she denied everything. She denies she is an alcoholic. Claims she hasnt drank in 3 years, when you look at her status mgs she is either drinking, drunk or going for beer and mostly depressed. Again she denies it and blames me for ruining her *online* fun. Claiming it was a game she was playing and was not doing the real thing. I am the cause of all her misery according to her. She recently this summer had the nerve to force her physically ill son who is a teenager to write my name on an envelope that contained a birthday card I sent him, informing me I was to not have any contact with her, her family(including grown children who dont live with her) and to stop sending anything to her daughter at her in laws address. While at the same time she has contact with my pregnant daughter saying things like your invited to such and such but your mom isnt. She has developed a so called relationship with my ex who was physically abusive to me and his daughter. Inviting him to her house and functions. So tell me after reading only a glimpse into what I have had to deal with for the past 3 years, does she have a problem or not?

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Thanks Patti.
Im not perfect I havent been completely without blame. I think the only thing she ever said that was the truth was I lied to her. I did. At that point it was either her or my family. I chose them. It was a difficult situation but I felt she gave me no choice.

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